Record of the Week

I've got food in my belly and a licence for my telly, and nothing's gonna bring me down.

Really Paolo? I imagine a couple of sections of reinforced concrete strapped to your ankles, followed by a late night swim in the Thames should do the trick.

Sulky Gus

My lovely weekend was ruined by a horrible underperformance at Anfield. Why must Vidic get himself sent off every time we play that horrible lot.

I thought SAF gave an honest appraisal of the game but was clearly gagging himself in terms of how the referee performed - Evra was booked for his first foul, Vidic comitted two and was off, yet Lucas gave away at least 4 nasty little clips each time he was turned and didn't get booked and Carragher gave away one penalty and was allowed to drag down his old mate and still stay on the pitch. I'm not bitter, but, well actually I am.

We lacked bite in midfield, with Carrick needing the protection of Fletcher or Hargreaves to get his passing game going.

All said, we've lost to Liverpool and Chelsea regularly over the past few seasons and still come out on top.......

And I still don't like Benitez....

Alison

Mrs Gus is a tremendous piece. I don't tell her enough and we often row like jets and sharks.

She's had a tough week with dental surgery and my poorly bottom so it's only fair I let her know that she's one in a million and I love her madly.

Angry Gus

I'm angry because Rafa Benetiz has a face like a gammon. With his beard being a hairy pineapple ring. I like Torres (because he's fucking brilliant), I even like Gerrard because he too is a class act but I really hate that hairy faced c*nt of a manager.

I am drunk and I don' t like Benitez. And Robbie Keane is a right miserable bastard on account that Benitez tried to ruin his career.

Darren Fletcher is the best player in the league. Someone try and tell me I'm wrong.

Events

So I went mountain biking in the Dalby Forest last week, and thoroughly enjoyable it was too! The fact that I couldn't sit down for a week was a smallish price to pay as it really was worthwhile. That said, my knees are slightly aching still.

mmmmm

Burgers for tea. Cheap frozen burgers with cheap slicy cheese on them. perfect.

Sometimes something so wrong can be just right. Happy Thursday

Hello Again

I'm back. Having given up with Sky I have taken the plunge and actually started paying for my broadband to be provided, and much quicker it is too! Good on me. If anyone is looking for cheap reliable Broadband please get in touch as I well benefit further via their recommendation scheme.

So what have I missed, I've been frantically trying to keep up with Ole Cynical Ben and Voley on here and stay amused and interested by their meanderings and rantings. I will try and update more regularly from now on, and I must start with the game on Sunday. The best game I have been to in years. Absolutley brilliant atmosphere (with the exception being the moronic and racist Adebayor song), 7 goals, incident all the way, and confirmation that Darren Fletcher has as much influence for United at the minute than Lampard or Gerrard are managing at their clubs. (in fairness to both, they don't need to as the rest of the team is performing.)

Giggs rolled back the years in the second half and gave Richards the runaround. The only downside being two sloppy goals and the difficult sight of Tevez in a blue shirt. That said I think our new No 7 will score more goals this season, the difference in natural finishing be highlighted starkly by Tevez's first half miss and Owen's delightful slide past Given (however many minutes were on the clock).

Hang on, apparently Owen's just made it 5-3.......

me of little faith

so I was wrong and England are capable of taking 20 wickets on a flat pitch. Good work.

Inspired work by Anderson in the Australians first innings and then Flintoff and Swann in the 2nd. Flintoff clearly inspired in what was his last test at Lord's apparenltly, although the folks on Sky barely mentioned it. Swann deserves great creidt as well, coming back strongly from what was a bit of a pasting down in Cardiff.

Onions was unlucky for me and underutilized whereas Stuart Broad seems to be able to come along, chuck some pies, get a couple of tail enders and keep his place. I'd like to see Harmison replace him for the next test, but suppose this depends on Flintoff's fitness. Bopara is also looking like he could be on borrowed time at number 3 - if he Pietersen is unfit Bopara should drop to 4 and I'd bring in Rob Key to add a bit of class at 3.

But typically England will stand still and pick the same team.......

Sport

Well the 2nd test has started and it looks like England are off to a decent start, although if the aussie bowlers are struggling I can't see Stuart Broad ripping through their top order.... - Prediction at just before lunch on day one? Draw.

So Tevez has signed for city. Given the choice of £25m for him or Owen on a free I think we've made the better choice. Owen has proved he can link up with Rooney and whilst he won't start every game I think he'll be a more stable and content squad member then Carlos.

I really can't believe our summer spending is complete though? Although the big names are probably beyond are reach due to the wealth of Real and city, it's slightly disheartening!

Sky

What a set of... well I'll leave it there.

My lack of blogging is due in full to their broadband department being unable to transfer my account - I'm really not sure how difficult this should be but apparenly i'm not to whinge as the broadband is included in my tv package anyway so it's not like I'm paying for it.

Ah the joys of customer service. Next I'm off to ring UU who admit that the £150 water bill for the month is a mistake on their part but that I must enter into a payment plan to avoid having this "debt" against me. What effing debt? You've just made up a number and billed me? I have decided I will send them a bill for some made up services of my own, perhaps I installed over 3km of water mains at a cost of £150,000, only I didn't so I won't.....

Plans

These plans involve driving for 5/6 hours in the Friday night rush hour to a farm in the middle of Kent. Upon arrival at circa midnight I will be erecting a tent (even if it is still slighlty broken, it stayed erect enough for Mr Vole and I).

Yes kids I'm keeping it real and as I approach 30 am attending my first music festival at Hop Farm. All in all it looks rather good, With Doves, Editors and Paul Weller on the Sunday night. I think I'll give the Fratellis a wide berth on Saturday but will barge my way to the front to watch Echo & the Bunnymen. Firm favourites of mine and I'm hoping the crowd will be young enough to not want to see them so I can have an unobstructed view - even more hopeful that Andy Murray will be playing at the same time and that anyone who follows the tennis will clear out of my way.

Either way I'll be experimenting with some drugs (I can't decide between Piritize or Clarityn), getting too hot, and hopefully (given it's previous existence), sampling some fine examples of Kentish ale. and all for free....

Silly Mid on

Is there anything to beat standing in a warm field chasing a red 60z lump of leather around whilst occasionally throwing oneself to the ground? Well probably, yes, there are much better ways to spend your time (batting and bowling immediately spring to mind), but I enjoyed myself and despite my late arrival denying me the chance to show off my Chris Gayle esque step to leg and swipe, am thoroughly chuffed that the team has progressed to finals day this Sunday.

Hopefully they'll be able to make do with out their most grass stained of fieldsmen as I have plans.

25/06/09

Who cares?

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLl

I figured that as it looks like "fans favourite" Carlos Tevez is going to sign for city we will need 2 sign at least 2 attacking players. Clearly Benzema and Ribery are high on the target list but even with these two we still need one more striker to achieve the compliment of 4 SAF likes to have at his disposal.

My view is we need a goal scorer who won't always be first choice but can be a real threat from the bench without the baggage of Tevez (the worst advised footballer in history? nominations welcome.)

How about that lad we got rid of a few years ago? RVN? Diego Forlan? David Bellion?? no I'm thinking of Guiseppe Rossi - I believe we have a buy back clause in the sale contract and if he was available for around £10m he would be a class addition back to the squad. The two goals he scored for Italy at the confederations cup make a mockery of his role on the bench when Lippi insists on playing the donkeys Ianquinta and Toni - the Tony Cascarino's of Italian Football. Just think if he was still playing today big Tone could be leading the line for the Azzuri. He'd fit right in. Cock.

Back in the Saddle.......

I played my first game of 5 a-side football for 8 months last night. I say played, I was asked if I come along and make up the numbers....it took all of 5 minutes before I decided my knee would be fine and I'd risk my delicate knees outfield. Largely impressed with my own performance, I have adapted my game from the harum scarum Robbie Savage of my youth to a game based around touch and time on the ball. Basically I'm the new Laurent Blanc. (with less pace)

Now the fitness drive must kick in - I figure i've got 3 months before the Champions League Signing date passes and by this time I'll either figure in SAF's plans for the season or I will have to accept that potentially as 30 approaches I might never make my Manchester United debut. ah well.....

Having said that I can't remember any premier league player scoring 3 in his first game after coming back from a Cruciate Ligament tear..........

Happy Camper

Many thanks to Vole, Ben and Jo for a lovely time on Saturday. Oh and for Doves for putting on a very good show. A second encore with "Ain't no Love, Ain't no use" - yes please.

next time I think it will be worth finding a campsite in the same county though......

Ronaldo and all that

So he's going, thanks for a good couple of years, but your diving and posturing were never in keeping with United's way of playing the game. When Eric scored that chip against Sunderland and stood arms just out stretched it was a case of the man embracing the raptures of 55,000 adoring fans. When our latest no 7 scored and looked smug it always felt more like a petulant look at me. Don't get me wrong I cheered his goals as much as the next man but I won't be surprised if his moving on will allow our Wayne to blossom in the limelight. For all Ronaldo's goals, he only used to get the real space when Rooney was occupying 2 defenders.

Anyway - on to replacements, according to the papers we'll be signing half of Europe. I think we're 2 players away from being right back at the top. The defence is still the best in Europe (they were left exposed far too often in Rome), the midfield will need some work but is by no means a train wreck and we still have options up front. Fletcher will be a key player for us for next season, in the absence of an Essien figure available for transfer. I like the idea of binning Jeff Nani for Moutinho of Sporting - he's a class act and could sit in front of two holding midfielders (2 of carrick, fletch, anderson)

Throw Benzema into the mix and I think we've found a winning combination, if Rafael and Evra are the fullbacks they can provide the width with 3 of Berbatov, Rooney, Benzema and Tevez interchanging up front.

It'll be a thing of beauty I tell you.... you read it here first!

Concerts

Oasis - ok, but still not blown away.

Doves on Saturday in Delamere Forest - this should be fantastic - I've dusted down the tent and will be checking my gas cylinders this evening......

Ola

first day back in work today after holidays. I say first day back in work but that doesn't take into consideration the solid work put in at the Launderette yesterday afternoon - joy of joys but washing that would have taken 30 days to complete was done in under two hours. Now there's just the ironing mountain......

Main good news that our house sitter has taken good care of the Chilli plants and they seem to be flourishing. Repotting is to commence at the weekend and will form a small part of my garden adventures this weekend - having never been in sole possession of a garden before I can but hope that all will work out well. I'm thinking about a lot of sawing/cutting.

In other news I'm off to see Oasis tonight, which may or may not be a good thing.....

I beg your pardon, I never promised you a herb garden

I am however going to provide one. Although it won't be solely restricted to herbs it will indeed feature them.

My first horticultural dabblings (ignoring the attempts at creating Salford's first orangery with a clementine tree) are proving marginally successful, in that there are definite shoots a showing for my Chilli and Parsley plants.

I aim to follow this with a potato pot and cherry tomatoes. I will be giving away the fruits/veg of my labour upon fruiting, and where possible i'm aiming to go organic. I shall be updating this blog with all my successes and failures as much for my own enjoyment as anything else

Wembley

£24.50 for the ticket. Reasonable I'm sure you'll agree.

2600 toilets making it the building with the most toilets in the world, given that it is actually located in the worlds biggest toilet there is a certain irony there - and by that I am specifically targetting Wembley and not London which does have the saving grace of a good public transport system and one or two sites of interest.

whilst visiting one of the said 2600 toilets on Sunday it became clear where the budget had been blown. Who seriously needs nicely finished cubicles and expensive vinyl flooring when the majority who attend are as willing to find relief in a hand basin or nearby corner?

anyway "The Wembley Experience" © didn't exactly blow me away, yeah it's nice and all but shouldn't a National Stadium be accessible for the majority of the Nation? pointless argument now I suppose but the hangover has dispersed so I need something to be upset about.

Dimitar

Berbatov is still a class act.

I just wish he looked like he cared.

Football, Bloody Hell

Well, as matches go, watching United underperform so badly on Saturday has left a seriously bitter taste in my mouth. Hats off to the robbers from down the 62, they took their chances well and in Gerrard and Torres have their first two truly world class players since Rush and Barnes. It is my belief that these two are the only players in the Premiership who would regularly hold down a place in the United team. I'd take Torres over Drogba any day, who for me this season has shown his true colours - overindulged slapped arse. That's the only thing nice I've got to say about him.

Anyway, back to the game, United were poor, and for SAF to suggest otherwise is laughable. His suggestion that the fixture list was unkind holds more weight, however United have benefitted from this in the past and his snubbing of Sky only serves to embarrass him further in his childlike "don't upset me or i'll never talk to you again" tirade.

All that said and before it begins to look like i'm anti-Fergie, he has got it right enough times in the past for the end result not to be a concern. For that I will be eternally grateful. Last May in Moscow was awesome but that hazy summer night in Barcelona 99 will never be surpassed. I didn't make Moscow due to the shear expense, however the road trip down to Barca will always be one of my favourite weeks. Sunburnt and close to nausea having watched a (let's be honest) superior Bayern team on the night, those last five minutes beats anything I've ever seen.

I'm sure this has waffled on long enough now, without much direction - is that the purpose of Blogs - I have no idea? So the likelihood is my blogging career is going to follow in much the same way until i grasp the basics of either saying something worthwhile or actually getting to a point. any point.

There I go again, waffle. What was the point - oh yeah, Losing 4-1 at home is bad, but Benitez will still never win a league and I, just like young Wayne, still hate Liverpool.

Once more onto the beach

Well, let me start by saying I've no idea why i'ce decided to join this blogging lark. Admitedly, having read the majority of cynical Ben's blogs, and been amused, outraged, disgusted and perplexed in equal measure, I can assure all that this will be on a much lower plain.

I shall largely be focussing on the forthcoming trip my much better half, let's call her Alison (because it's her name), and I will be taking in May of this year. Nothing exceptional in a week in Alicante, however, having spent days on Skyscanner and been driven to distraction by Ryanairs cheap flights scam, the decision has been made to drive. I will be keeping you loyal reader, updated of progress from planning and preparation, hopefully through the whole trip.

An unequivocal delight i'm sure you'll agree. I shall also be using this forum as the potential sounding board for my current thoughts on all things sport.

It is my intention to keep this introduction brief, and realise most will have already tuned out. I will therefore press the dreaded publish post button and get this sorry show on the road. Where it goes from here is anyone's guess, but here goes........